Friday, January 8, 2016

Money, Money, Money!

Ah, we are getting into the midst of frosty, bitter January - but the cold remains mild, and the only thing snowballing is the out-of-control Powerball jackpot. After Wednesday's amount went unclaimed, the prize continued to tumble and grow like a snowball to an all time high of $700 million (and still growing). Can I just say...WOW.

I have to confess, I’m eternally fascinated by the notion of winning the lottery, mostly out of curiosity. The idea of going becoming an instant multi-millionaire captures my imagination, as a hopeless dreamer. What does one even do with such colossal amounts of cash? Do you just slide over the Bath and Body Works gift card in your wallet to make room for the check? Buy a few extra cups of ramen to get you through the semester?

Presumably, I sought to answer just such a question some years ago, though on a considerably smaller scale. Hence my intricately drawn pie chart (thank you, elementary school for teaching me this invaluable skill) featured below. Designed by myself at the age of perhaps nine, I mapped out exactly how I would spend $1 million (I know, I know...pocket change. I don’t get off the couch for less than $100 million).

I would first congratulate my preteen self for setting aside half of my earnings for “future purchases” rather than purchasing one hundred and one dalmatian puppies (another dream I just as easily would have indulged). Moreover, even at a young age I knew college came with a price tag like an anvil.  Throw in some charitable contributions, generous allowances to each of my family members, and nifty bonuses for my friends, and the chart is mostly complete.

So how would it look multiplied by 700 and thrust forward a decade in time? I have trouble even speculating. That’s a lot of dough.

The more I think about suddenly being responsible for such a mind-blowing amount of money, the more I’m glad the odds don’t favor it happening to me. As vividly as I can imagine fun vacations, fancy clothes, and mountains of designers shoes, I can also fathom the betrayal, bitterness, resentment, exhaustion, and misery such a change would foster.

So while you won’t find me crunching numbers and busting out my savings to maximize my chances at the big win on Saturday, I do plan to enter at least once, just to be part of the hype. Who knows? Maybe I’ll be the 1 in 292 million. After all, I can be pretty lucky - I won a spring break gift basket in high school once, and I have the flamingo hat and Dunkin Donuts gift card to prove it.

May the odds be ever in your oh, no they really aren’t. Sorry.

Hugs and Wishes,


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